AMADEUS

To whom it may concern,


To readers of all.......readers of all types; readers of all creeds, race, religion; passionate readers, seldom readers, those seeking answers, those asking the questions, those who simply have the need to release, i implore you, i support you; as a matter of fact i indulge in this vivacious and ravenous hunger to indeed satisfy this overtaking of such wants and needs that comes from writing or reading blogs. i know this sounds like the typical introduction to a blog entry, however it is something that i feel is proper in establishing my thoughts and ideas and really showing this world my "face". It has come to my recent attention that i in fact have discovered through my own personal hell the reality of my passions. I cant really describe what it is i am trying to say or come off as; all i can do is write. So in doing so, i am going to start out by saying going absolutely mad has become chic. Alas i have been mad way before, in my eyes, mad had become so in demand. My passions transgressed from simple urges to push limits, to now not only pushing limits but pulverizing any boundaries that should so bound me. One of the closest measures i can compare my sense of madness can be expressed into forms by two different characters in a movies entitled "Amadeus". Simply mad are both Wolfgang and court composer both absolutely passionate in their works both driven by their love of music and the art of creation. In this film, court composer realizes his whole life , which was dedicated to God , for his talent as a composer, up to the point of meeting Wolfgang, was nothing but a flight of lies and deceit on God's part. He discovered that Wolfgang a rude, crude, vial, lustful man was far more a refined a composer than himself, and it turned him away from God because why such a dreadful being be an instrument of such heavenly talent and him only left to recognize it. Wolfgang on the other hand in this film was a loose man without boundaries, Besides his love of music and his passions to write it, money was one of his biggest influences. Not like the court composer who was just in the business to create for his name to be legend through out time for his works. In the end, the one who made it to that pedestal was Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. I am sure you all know of him. I do feel like court composer at times and at others i feel like Amadeus. I am at a crossroads with my madness; what to do? who should i become? My madness is sprung from so many seeds but most of all it has sprung from the simple fact i haven't found my place in this world. I haven't found it in my job, my friends, my loves, my family. The only place i have found myself to be "normal" is within my madness. My works, my art , my creation, my sense of psychology, my sense of love , my own world.


In this world i have a place i run with Mozart, Salvador Dali, Georgia O'Keeffe. Yes i do put myself on their level because if one really takes time to look at their works look past the obvious, you will see their own personal hell, their madness, who they really are. Their work is their place in this world and that is what i plan to do.

but where to start.......here ....there.......paper.....blogg.....paint.....voice.....so many outlets.........i might just do all just the same...... my madness is my creation and my creation is my work my work is my identity my identity is my place in this world.........